101 Pirate Tales
by Cheap-Perfume
Summary: 101 Drabbles all about everyone's favorite pirate and his merry crew. Things could get a little raunchy back here! Warnings are in the author notes.
1. Roses

Author Note: This will be a series of drabbles. This means they will be all sorts of pairings and story lines. It also means that they will be the SHORTEST stories on the face of the planet. I would also liked to add, there will be SLASH and Character death among other things. I will try and put warnings before each one. Read on.

Theme: Roses

Title: Wilting

Rating: PG-13

James remembered when he once compared Elizabeth Swann to a rose. It was a pink rose he remembered, glittering in the morning dew. Perfect poetry for the woman he loved. Perfect poetry for the woman he had lost.

Yet, even now when she was far from his grasp, the urge to describe her in verse was stronger than ever before.

'Yes' he thought 'A perfect pink rose with perfectly painful thorns.' And he took another swig of ale.


	2. Socks

Alright, this is drabble number 2! It is SLASH. So you have been warned. Read, review, be merry.

Theme: Socks

Title: How the Captain Kept the Commodore

Rating: PG

"I can't find my socks." The Commodore looked over at the pirate lying on the bed with a glare. "What've you done with them?"

"Are you suggesting that I stole your socks?" The pirate captain laughed.

The commodore shook his head and continued to search the ship cabin. The pirate grinned as he watched, and fingered something in his pocket.

"You could just go without socks. It's not like you need yer socks luv." The pirate gave a big grin as the commodore scowled at him.

"That is…..uncivilized." The commodore said throwing things around the room.

The pirate sighed. Maybe if the commodore never found his socks, he would stay with the pirate forever….


	3. Firelight

I love you people. I will reply to the reviews in a moment. 3 Anyway, this has no warnings. And though some may see the slash in this, when I wrote it, it was completely platonic in my mind. Read, review, be merry.

Theme: Firelight

Title: Heat from the Forge

Rating: PG

Jack had once told Will, in a moment of sobriety, that he never understood why Will had loved working at the Forge so much. Will had just smiled at Jack, and told him that he'd show him someday.

Jack was dead now, and Will had gone back to his Forge. He had never been happier, basking in the heat and glow of the forge. He had never been happier, but sometimes he thought of Jack's question when he stared into the firelight. And sometimes, he thought he could see Jack nodding in the cold metal of the swords he made. He always smiled in those moments; for it was then he knew Jack understood.


	4. Cannon

**Alright, so this chapter has no pairing but it does have some OOC. But I quite like it. Will needed a flaw. :)**

Theme: Cannon

Title: Morbid Streak

Rating: PG-13

Will Turner had always loved weapons. They made him feel strong, powerful, and important. Not that feeling that way was important to him, but it made him feel better. Weapons were why he had loved working at the Forge. He was surrounded by weapons all the time.

But his favorite weapon was one that, now he was on Jack Sparrow's ship, he had unlimited access to. The cannon. He loved the cannon best of all. His favorite part was what he could do to others with the cannon. Total havoc made him smile. In fact, the more destruction he caused with his cannons the happier he was. Who knew he had such morbid streak?


	5. Hangover

**Alright people, this one has SLASH. And a vague hint towards sex. Oh and mentions of drinking. That's about it. Does anybody actually like these drabbles? I am beginning to get worried...**

Theme: Hangover

Title: Nothing Looks the Same

Rating: PG-13

He had been piss drunk last night. He had a hangover that could bring a lesser man to his knees whimpering, and he had no clue where he was. The second might have been due to the fact he hadn't opened his eyes yet.

He sat up; eyes still closed, and dragged his hands through his hair. He opened his eyes. He could barely see around him so he felt around. His hand touched something warm. He touched something alive.

"Well Commodore, I didn't think ye'd be ready for another go so soon." A sleepy voice responded to his touch.

James knew that voice. Sparrow was lying beside him. So it was true, nothing looked the same when you were drunk.


	6. Children

**Well I am glad people like these. This one has some adult content. But nothing too gorey so it should be ok. Am I posting too quickly? Tell me if I am. Review! Cause it's what keeps me going!**

Theme: Children

Title: Close Your Eyes

Rating: PG-13

Some things are not meant for children's eyes. That James Norrington knew very well. As a child he had watched as pirates raped and murdered his family while he hid under the bed. He had watched as the same pirates laughed at his family's dead bodies as they drank their rum.

Yes, some things were just not meant for the eyes of children. He placed his hat firmly on his head.

James gave a cruel smile as he whispered, "If only someone had been there to close my eyes."


	7. Dog

**...Well gee. Hi. There are no real warnings for this one, I just like to hear myself talk. So is there anything you guys are looking for from these drabbles? I mean I haven't written all 101 yet, so I am open to your ideas and feedback. Speaking of feedback REVIEW! Please?**

Theme: Dog

Title: Best Friends

Rating: PG-13

Jack had invited William Turner to be part of his crew, sure. But he wouldn't have if he had known Lizzy was part of the deal. When Will had spoken of her, Jack had assumed that he had meant Elizabeth, the person.

No, Will had meant Lizzy, **the dog**. The annoying, pesky, mutt that barked constantly. She was no good, and she smelled. Jack _hated_ Lizzy.

That was until he found out how she could benefit him. That dog could sniff out rum no matter where she was. Jack now knew that he and Lizzy were to be best mates.

"Good doggie." Jack said as he took a bottle of rum from the dog's jaws. Yes, the best of friends.


	8. Tape

**Hello people! Now this story has no real warnings unless you include rum as a warning. I do have to say however that this stroy is purely fiction, and its events were, of course, made up by me. History be damned. . Now please review? Or I withhold the next chapter...MUWHAHAHA. Just kidding. Review anyway?**

Theme: Tape

Title: the Invention of Tape

Rating: PG

Jack took another swig of rum, and then continued on with his story.

"So ye see I need something to tie the little bugger up. He was a feisty thing ye see. No rope to be found…but there were these leaves savvy? They were all sticky with sap or some such. So I said to meself, Jack I bet these would stick together like paste."

The barroom crowd listened intently, or at least they seemed to. In truth no one really listened to Jack.

"And by Davy Jones, they stuck quite nicely. And that's how I invented tape mates!"

Jack downed the rest of his rum, and fixed the room with a proud smirk. No one acknowledged the end of his tale. Jack frowned. They just didn't understand his genius.


	9. Hair

**Firstly, Daniel is my own creation. If anyone steals him, it's off with their head. Secondly, I have 4/6 chapters done on a fic about Daniel, if anyone would like to see me post it once it's finished, drop a review. The rest of you review anyway because I have low self esteem. (big grin)**

Theme: Hair

Title: My Daddy's Bald

Rating: PG

James Norrington stared down at his son with utter surprise.

"What?" He couldn't articulate anything else. His little boy had shocked him speechless.

"Are you bald daddy?" Daniel asked, blinking innocently.

James still couldn't speak. Why would _his_ son ask such an unseemly thing?

"Daddy! Jack said you were bald. I told him to stuff it. I just want to know if I was right." Daniel said, giving a proud grin.

James just shook his head, and took off his prized wig.

Daniel squealed as he ran his little fingers through his daddy's brown locks.

"So ye got yer dadums to take off that infernal white wig eh?" Jack said, smirking.

'I told you my daddy wasn't bald." Daniel said.

"So you did boy. So you did."


	10. Boots

**Well then, this has no spoilers except for cross dressing I suppose. So read, be merry, and REVIEW! Cause I love you? And as soon as I finish the last two chapters _Peril of a Child_ will be put up on this site. **

Theme: Boots

Title: A Girl in Men's Clothing

Rating: PG

Elizabeth had always admired the boots of men. They look comfortable and rugged. Of course she was required to wear shoes fit for a lady at all times. Men's boots were completely out of the question no matter how much she longed for them. Her father showed no mercy when it came to proper dress.

So when she got her chance to wear men's boots she made a pact to never take them off. She looked good in them anyway, and she sent a silent thanks to William. After all, if she didn't have to go save him, she would have never got her feet into a pair of these lovely boots.


	11. Piano

**Right. Warnings for this? Utter insanity. That is all. Oh and I finished _Peril of a Child _last night. So I am going to put it up tomorrow. Or if I get enough feedback about it...maybe today. So review? Or I will put these at the end and not bold them so you think they are part of the story and read them anyway:)**

Theme: Piano

Title: Just a Hobby, Savvy?

Rating: PG-13

Jack was sitting in a tavern. He had rum, and some random wench sitting on his lap. Life was especially good at that very moment. So of course something would have to spoil it.

"Jack! Jack!"

William Turner was supposed to stay on the ship. He had a knack for tarnishing Jack's reputation.

"Will, mate, you were s'posed to stay on the ship." Jack pushed the blonde bint off him.

"I know Jack, but I found these under the maps you asked me to sort." Will said waving a few scraps of paper in Jack's face.

"They're not mine." Jack said quickly.

"So you're saying you can't play the piano?" That was it; Jack was going to tie the boy to the ship next time.

"It's just a hobby, savvy!"


	12. Dreams

**Per request, here's one about Gibbs. Insanity is the only warning. And Peril of a Child is up. Go read it. Cause my G. Swann is cooler than yours.**

**P.s Music Nerd, since you pointed it out, I looked it up. The piano was "invented" aroudn the year 1700. And I believe PotC took place in the late 1700's early 1800's. So Jack could very well have known how to play the piano. Correct me if I am wrong.**

Theme: Dreams

Title: Dancing monkies?

Rating: PG-13

Gibbs nestled down into his hammock, the rolling of the sea rocking him off into dreamland. He snuggled down into his blankets as he began to dream.

_He was walking down a dirt road, the sun bearing down on his back when he saw Jack. Jack was sitting in a tree with a bottle of rum._

_"Hey Jack, mind sharin' some o' that rum. I'm parched." Gibbs called up. Jack smiled down at him and pointed behind him. There was a bush growing bottles of rum._

_And it was guarded by dancing monkies?_

Gibbs woke up suddenly, and staring down at him was that blasted undead monkey.


	13. Cards

**Warning to all W/E shippers, you may not like this! But other than that only gambling. :)**

**P.s Music Nerd congrats that was the longest review in history. xx Haha. So I looked up information on the actual movie, and according to more than one source, it was the late 1700's when the movie took place. So I think from all our dates collectively, Jack could have played the piano or at least some version of it. And you sound a lot like someone I know. Must be your manner of...nerd-ness. ;) And don't you dare tell me they didn't have engagement rings back then!**

Theme: Cards

Title: Losing Again

Rating: PG-13

Elizabeth couldn't win at cards. No matter what tricks she tried, she always lost. Now she had nothing left to bet. She stared at her hand. Well, almost nothing. She and Will had never gotten married. Not after she had kissed Jack.

So it would be perfectly alright to bet her engagement ring. Of course it would. She smiled at the men in front of her.

"Alright boys," she threw her ring to the middle of the table, "who wants to play?" She laughed as the cards were dealt. She knew this was just another losing round.


	14. Perfume

**Rightyo then. After a heartbreaking night of So You Think You Can Dance...sobs...I am posting. This contains FEMMESLASH. It will be the only one in this series that does, so forgive me and read anyway.**

Theme: Perfume

Title: The Lingering Scent of Pears

Rating: PG-13

Will smiled as he stepped into his house. He breathed in the sweet smell of home. A strange smell filled his senses. Pears. Elizabeth didn't wear a pear scent. This was odd. Will took his shoes off and climbed the steps. He quietly opened the door the Elizabeth's and his bedroom.

He just as quietly closed the door. How had he not known?

Over the next few months he and Elizabeth drifted away from one another. And their house always had the lingering scent of pears. The scent of betrayal. The scent of Anamaria's perfume.


	15. Music

**Sorry if I scared anyone off with the last drabble. I just wanted one really wacky pairing. Lizzy cheated, but I didn't want it to be with Jack or James...that's too predictable. Anyway this one has SLASH. Because that's what I typically write, but maybe I'll sitck some het in next time eh?**

* * *

Theme: Music 

Title: Reunion

Rating: PG-13

It had been years since Jack Sparrow had seen William Turner. The years had certainly changed them both. Jack was getting older, William seemed to never change.

Jack and William spent the night chatting away in a bar, rum in hand.

* * *

It had been years since William Turner had seen Jack Sparrow. Even though time had changed them, Jack was as young as ever.

William bought Jack all the rum he wanted.

* * *

True it had been years since they had seen each other, but their feelings hadn't changed.

Jack's laugh was music to Will's ears.

Will was music to Jack.

Together they were the sweetest song.


	16. Glitter

**So I have classes all this week. I have to get up early for them, and they are boring as hades in july. So the updates might not be too often, or maybe not at all this week. Support me with reviews yeah?**

**This drabble is a cute cliche. It's for all you E/W shippers, and if anyone flames this one, I cut your entrails out. Cause fluff and flames don't mix.

* * *

**

Theme: Glitter

Title: The Pomp and Splendor

Rating: PG-13

Will stood nervously with the preacher and his best man, Jack. He couldn't stand still. He was nervous, but not about getting married. He was nervous about what these people would think of him.

Everywhere around him there was something more outrageous, more magnificent than the thing before. Everything seemed to scream money. Everything except him. He looked mundane at best in his battered black suit and ragged hair.

And then he saw Elizabeth walk down the isle. She seemed to glitter with happiness and pride, and the sight of her made everything ok. If she were at his side, even he would shine.


	17. Regret

**Hello people, I thought I'd better update cause I am leaving tomorrow for a bit. This is a rather odd little OOC Jack one. Hope you like.**

**P.s Music Nerd...hun I love you but you scare me.**

Theme: Regret

Title: Hurricane

Rating: PG-13

Jack looked sadly at the ex commodore. He was a complete mess. Drunk, smelly, and dirty. The once proud man had been reduced to this, and it was all Jack's fault.

Jack had ruined James' life, and here he was asking to be part of Jack's crew. Was the man really willing to scrub the decks of Jack's ship? Was that what he really wanted?

Jack looked away. The ruined man was too much for Jack's mind to take in. Why did his conscious rear its ugly head now? He had done many a terrible thing as a pirate, and he didn't regret any of it. So why did he regret ruining **this** man?


	18. Comfort

**Good news! I'm back! And I've also written up all 101 of these things so you will for sure see the end! Yay! As for warnings...SLASH (cause I am a true blue slasher sorry folks...). Oh and a bit o one sided Will/Lizzy. **

Theme: Comfort

Title: Puzzle Pieces

Rating: PG-13

Elizabeth saw a broken Jack. She saw a pirate without a ship or a purpose. She saw a man once so proud of himself, fall apart. Piece by piece. And she saw how Will looked at him. She saw how Jack started to look back. She saw two men who needed the comfort of someone. She saw a lot more than they gave her credit for. She saw two men broken by the beatings of waves.

She saw the signs all around her. The signs that broke her heart, and she watched as William put Jack's puzzle back together as he dismantled hers.


	19. Revenge

**All right people. This is MY FAVORITE drabble., That's right out of all 101 this is my favorite. Warnings: Extreme agnst, pure, cold evil, and gore. Have fun kiddies.**

Theme: Revenge

Title: The Demon in Me

Rating: R

James Norrington sat in a bar. He held his hand directly over a candle flame. The flames licked his skin, making it sizzle. He smiled viciously.

He saw Jack Sparrow in chains. He saw him hanging limp and motionless from a cold stone wall. Jack Sparrow deserved pain.

The kind that kept him in pain for hours. The kind that made his body ache mercilessly as he tried to move. The kind of pain that made him scream himself voiceless. The kind of pain that James felt as he lay in bed at night. As he closed his eyes and watched that hurricane destroy his men one by one. And the screams that tormented his every waking moment. That kind of pain is what Jack Sparrow deserved.


	20. Language

**Right so I am probably playing with the laws of time again, but I don't care. And Jack can probably speak French, but once again I don't care. This is just a SLASHY bit of fun and fluff. I think it is sweet:)**

Theme: Language

Title: Bloody Hell

Rating: PG-13

For the first time in his life, Captain Jack Sparrow felt out of place and underdressed. He was sitting across from Norrington who was grinning from ear to ear. Jack glared at his lover. When he had agreed to dinner, Jack hadn't any idea that they would be eating at a….._fancy_ establishment.

A waiter, dressed to the nines, sauntered over to the table and laid down menus. Norrington was smiling wider now. Jack gave him a wary look, nodded to the waiter, and opened his menu.

He took one look and slammed the menu down on the table. "Bloody 'ell James, you know I can't speak a lick of French."

Norrington shook his head with a laugh. "Watch your language Jack."


	21. Gravestone

**Well, you guys need to review for me yeah? Oh and there aren't really any warnings I can think of for this. Maybe sadness.**

Theme: Gravestone

Title: Don't Look Back

Rating: PG-13

**(Not PotC2 friendly)**

William had a bouquet of daisies in his hand. He had to see his father one more time before setting sail with Jack.

His steps were slowing entering the graveyard. His hands were shaking, and his heart was pounding in his ears. A gloomy air surrounded the place, pressing into his skin like the cold that had ceased to bother him. His breath came out in white puffs, but he was sweating like the sun was bearing down upon him.

"Dad……." He laid the flowers down in front of the gravestone. They were expensive since they were out of season, but they were worth it.

He turned away. "Goodbye dad." He walked away as slowly as he had entered. There was no looking back now.


	22. Silk

**Come on people! Review for me? I am a review whore. I'll die. :)**

**And no warnings here, except you could take this a slashy way. Sort of. It is not really slash.**

Theme: Silk

Title: Proper

Rating: PG

Norrington had always loved the feel of silk. The way it slid so easily over skin. Of course it wasn't proper for a military man to wear the silk shirts of the royalty. So when a certain pirate had offered him a thousand silk shirts, he'd regretfully had to decline.

Now every time he went to sleep, sliding easily between the black silk of his sheets, he thought of Jack. No matter what he did, the pirate wouldn't leave his head. Now he couldn't even enjoy his silk. Why did that pirate ruin everything?


	23. Time

Theme: Time

Title: Food on the Table

Rating: PG-13

Captain Barbossa stared at the food in front of him. He wasn't sure why he had it laid out every night. He couldn't eat it; all he could do was stare. Staring did nothing. Staring was nothing. Staring was boring, but it passed the time. The endless rocking of the Black Pearl beneath his feet, the company of his dead monkey, and staring was all he had now.

Barbossa stood up and yanked the table cloth from the table. The food scattered everywhere. Yes, all he did was stare because it passed the time. And Barbossa had all the time in the world.

**Review. Review or Jack will cry. nods**


	24. Game

**Sorry about the lack of update. I've been busy.**

**Warnings: Sort of depressing and some OOC on Jack's part. Can be seen as slash, but was not written that way.**

Theme: Game

Title: Surrender

Rating: PG-13

It was a silly game really. He and that damn pirate playing cat and mouse across the sea. He didn't even want to chase _Captain_ Jack Sparrow around anywhere. What was the use? The only reason he'd chased Sparrow in the first place was to win Elizabeth, and now she was gone.

Norrington put his head in his hands. He didn't want to play anymore. He was losing anyway.

"Commodore? You have a…..visitor." His guard said from outside.

"Let them in." Norrington responded weakly.

The door opened and closed. Norrington could hear boots walking across the wood, but he didn't bother to look up.

"Jamesy boy! I hav' herd rumors I have, of your giving up on me. I was disappointed in you mate! So I've come to put an end to our game. Savvy?" Jack Sparrow was on his ship. Jack Sparrow was in his room. Jack Sparrow was in front of him, and he wasn't being held at gun point.

Norrington looked up to see Jack sink to his knees. "I surrender." Jack said.


	25. Lightning Bugs

Theme: Lightning Bugs

Title: Homesick

Rating: PG-13

When out at sea, Commodore James Norrington was almost untouchable. He was the best navy man out there. Unstoppable. Unfaultable.

He hid behind his title though. He hid his feelings behind a sword and a white wig. No one knew James' heart, and he wouldn't allow anyone to.

Because James Norrington didn't want anyone to know he was terribly homesick. That rocking of the ship kept him up at night, and that as he stared up into the night sky, the glittering stars reminded him of lightning bugs.

'I just want to go home.' He always thought. The thought of home filled him with warmth, and was the only thing that allowed him to slide into blissful dreams.


	26. Confusion

**Warnings: An awkward, lacking self-confidence Commodore.**

Theme: Confusion

Title: Marriage Proposal

Rating: PG-13

Commodore Norrington had turned his back for one second. He couldn't face Miss Swann as he said this. He didn't want to see her expression o disgust. He knew she didn't like him. She probably never would, but that wasn't going to stop him.

So he had faced away from her, and asked her to marry him. She said nothing, so he turned back to her. She was gone! She'd run away. He blinked willing her to reappear. She still wasn't standing in front of him.

Was he really that repulsive? So unworthy of her that she'd actually run away?


End file.
